Faith & Acasual

Leap of Faith.

I love driving in the car for around half an hour.  It kind of makes me wish I had a little bit further to drive to work.  I recorded it but I have no place to upload it, haha.  This topic is obviously about faith, but interesting enough what started it off in my head was a discussion I had with a friend of mine of her reincarnations.  I knew a lot more information about certain subjects that I realize.  It’s weird that I recognize it as “truth” let alone reincarnation as fact.  It is amusing to think that I believe so strongly in reincarnation, afterlife, and other worlds, but I struggle with the belief of Gods.

One of the questions that has been pounding in my head since I was young is, Is there a God?  I have so many questions and I haven’t even arrived at an answer.  This is where my strange processes work through my head at certain times, even at the same time, I believe in gods, but there is also a suspension of this belief, with the question of possibilities.  It is really hard to describe other than I have not made a leap of faith believing in Gods.  It just had not been my experience though I have known others pagan and Semitic wise who do.  As I said my position is hard to describe and I have been trying to straighten out this issue.

One thing I brought up in my rant in the audio file is about quantum physics and string theory.  I was watching this show on the science channel and it was about the possibility of other worlds.  The theory that various physicists have surmised is that other worlds exist, possibly parallel to this one, but we cannot interact with them.  They may pull at the fabric of our universe but we can never interact with them.  There was also something about dark matter being locked in another universe too.  So this brought up the questions again, theory, and the lack of validating such theory.  There is no evidence to prove or disapprove.  We can scream and rage at God who doesn’t prove himself to us, but he doesn’t.  Does that mean he/she/it does not exist?

Let me break down arguments I have against belief in Gods, or what I have trouble with.

Suffering is the first problem I had and the one that does not bother me anymore.  A simple point is suffering is very important to life.  Suffering teaches us, it helps us in many ways.  One point I often like to bring up is if you never knew suffering then you can’t appreciate being happy.  I spent a lot of my life miserable due to familial circumstances that was not beneficial but it has made me appreciate being happy.  Without that suffering I wouldn’t be who I am today.  But I remember as a child demanding why?  Why must I suffer? Oh the ego of a child !  Suffering is natural is what we allow it to do and what we do with it that is important.

The second was the issue of omnipresence as I find in Semitic religions.  It seems a question of logistics for me, the world has long had a lot of people within it, but how can some so called deity/being know even 10million people?  It’s also being everywhere at once, that seems odd to me at least at the point of a deity.  I do not find it odd with the theory of a collective consciousness/unconsciousness that humans have.  I easily tap into it late at night which is sometimes where when I did homework, it was most effective.  Yet the potential is in every person to access this database, but some are more easily able to tune into it.  I am a big believer in that we are all one and inter-connected, I am connected to people I have not met yet, or may not me, the actions I choose today affect them too.  If I decide to slip a sugar into a diabetics coffee, that could affect countless people lives, thus I am connected by a choice sense of creating fate.  Though I believe in metaphysical connections where you can know when something is going on with another.  I have a good example of this within my own a life, a personal semantic.  My cousin had a heart problem that he was born with, I can’t remember what, but there was a surgery to fix this.  Well while they were doing this my cousin went into cardiac arrest and almost died, but my grandmother just knew this.  She was insisting to my mother that something was wrong with my cousin and you couldn’t tell her otherwise.  We couldn’t get in contact with my Aunt & Uncle till later that day.  I have this connection with friends, I know what they are feeling without them telling me what is going on.  I can’t always guess the situation what is going on, but sometimes I do.  You could say I am very perceptive and I can be when I am physically with someone (but very dense at times too).  However, that is not the case when I am 1000 miles away and know that one of my friends is in trouble.  But I think these connections exist even with people do not know because of this collective that humans have.

The fickleness and human like qualities that God and Gods have.  I think of God beings are super human.  I do not know why but when I think of t hem, I think of them very unattached, almost a sense of apathy. I think of Gods as they should be better than a human being.  They should not be so fickle, so jealous, so full of hatred towards themselves and others.  Story after story I find of this, but then again I wonder, is this because we as humans lack understanding?  Look at one of the topics in Dark Discussion (Isolated Stunted Growth), where it was pointed out how I related humans to wolves, but wolves don’t use humans as a teaching tool for wolves.  Wolves do not teach other wolves the koans of humans.  We are relating to the Gods being like us possibly.  The one problem is trying to understand the arise of various Gods because you can’t trace back the memeplex completely to the beginning.  You can have a dozen variations of various stories of one God, due to rural differences and the fact that it was all oral traditions.  It still bothers me though because as Gods, should they not be more advanced, more intelligent than the normal human having access most likely to the collective unconsciousness and consciousness?  Should they not be more in touch with the universe?  But if we are all capable of that what separates us from the Gods?

So the third issue I have to bring up is what separates us from the so-called Gods?  This is where my little inner satanist comes out and proclaims we are all Gods.  We can manipulate our reality in some fashion with manipulating others, and our perception.  The answer has not come to me about what separates us from mythological Gods.  They are considered to have certain say, aspects, like Athena is often considered a goddess of wisdom (and war), because that is what she is good at.  Artemis was a goddess of the hunt and that is something she was good at.  She was associated with the moon and being a virgin.  The last two are more associations than anything, but don’t we say, oh your eyes are like the stars, and such?  We have this constant association complex where we relate anything and everything we can, even with Gods.

So where does myth (theory) end and the beginnings of faith and logic twist together?  My friend told me he believes in his personal gods because of experience.  I once talked to a Norse Pagan who says that there must be a trickster God or spirit watching over me (due to the odd tricks that happen in life).  I’ve been told I am guarded/watched over by powerful forces and they have a huge play in my life due to psychics and tarot card readers.  I once had a near death experience with a car accident I shouldn’t have a) walked out alive or b) let alone unhurt as I did.  Who is to deny that there isn’t a possibility?  Yet through all of this questioning, this pondering I have come to one conclusion that it is time to jump off that metaphorical cliff and step into living an acasual existence.  I have lacked a confidence to jump off to fully start experiencing it all, but even brief glimpses is not enough.  I need to start trusting my intuition more, having more confidence in it, letting the “heart” guide and not let all my head do the thinking.

So jump.

Belief in God(s)

I once wrote on it on my tumblr page, but I’ll discourse my views again.  If you want to, you can read the old post here.

I do not believe in God(s), at least not in the sense they are represented by the mythos of all the cultures.  Their mythos was their way of trying to explain the casual world.  I cannot accept God(s) almost like us, should they not as God(s) be different if not, better versions of I guess, human beings, or another race?  From the Bible to every tale I have found of God(s), they may be pretty much immortal, but they are childish, immature, and fickle in every way.  Maybe it is because when I think of God(s) I think of perfection when it comes to God(s).  If they could live for so long, cannot they not overcome such petty jealousies? It is why I have struggled with any idea the God(s) are real.

The closest I can to believing God(s) exist that we ourselves are “demi-Gods.”  To a point we can control our lives and choose our “destiny.”  Destiny/fate does not exist except that as the manifestation of of our actions as consequences. We may not see these manifestations or understand the pattern it has formed to create it.  I can choose to step in front of the car driving down the street and I can choose not to, thus through choice we create our destiny. However, Nature is beyond our control.  There are forces out there that can impact our lives and thus changing it, like a sudden tornado appearing and ripping apart a home.  Life is full of random circumstances but I believe that when we focus our Will into the Universe we can make changes.

Maybe I am wrong.  I am always open for changing how I feel about this issue.  I know I struggle with “faith” because I try and see everything so logically.  If God is all power why does he/she/it not do….?  I cannot believe that God is my protector in any form.  There are billions of people upon the planet, why should he care for one person? No matter how extremely intelligent and all-powerful some God he may be. I cannot reason with the existence of the Christian God.  I appreciate the religion in what it tries to teach but to few follow the teaching as they should.  For those who do, I honor at least, the truth you have found in your spirit.