Faith & Acasual

Leap of Faith.

I love driving in the car for around half an hour.  It kind of makes me wish I had a little bit further to drive to work.  I recorded it but I have no place to upload it, haha.  This topic is obviously about faith, but interesting enough what started it off in my head was a discussion I had with a friend of mine of her reincarnations.  I knew a lot more information about certain subjects that I realize.  It’s weird that I recognize it as “truth” let alone reincarnation as fact.  It is amusing to think that I believe so strongly in reincarnation, afterlife, and other worlds, but I struggle with the belief of Gods.

One of the questions that has been pounding in my head since I was young is, Is there a God?  I have so many questions and I haven’t even arrived at an answer.  This is where my strange processes work through my head at certain times, even at the same time, I believe in gods, but there is also a suspension of this belief, with the question of possibilities.  It is really hard to describe other than I have not made a leap of faith believing in Gods.  It just had not been my experience though I have known others pagan and Semitic wise who do.  As I said my position is hard to describe and I have been trying to straighten out this issue.

One thing I brought up in my rant in the audio file is about quantum physics and string theory.  I was watching this show on the science channel and it was about the possibility of other worlds.  The theory that various physicists have surmised is that other worlds exist, possibly parallel to this one, but we cannot interact with them.  They may pull at the fabric of our universe but we can never interact with them.  There was also something about dark matter being locked in another universe too.  So this brought up the questions again, theory, and the lack of validating such theory.  There is no evidence to prove or disapprove.  We can scream and rage at God who doesn’t prove himself to us, but he doesn’t.  Does that mean he/she/it does not exist?

Let me break down arguments I have against belief in Gods, or what I have trouble with.

Suffering is the first problem I had and the one that does not bother me anymore.  A simple point is suffering is very important to life.  Suffering teaches us, it helps us in many ways.  One point I often like to bring up is if you never knew suffering then you can’t appreciate being happy.  I spent a lot of my life miserable due to familial circumstances that was not beneficial but it has made me appreciate being happy.  Without that suffering I wouldn’t be who I am today.  But I remember as a child demanding why?  Why must I suffer? Oh the ego of a child !  Suffering is natural is what we allow it to do and what we do with it that is important.

The second was the issue of omnipresence as I find in Semitic religions.  It seems a question of logistics for me, the world has long had a lot of people within it, but how can some so called deity/being know even 10million people?  It’s also being everywhere at once, that seems odd to me at least at the point of a deity.  I do not find it odd with the theory of a collective consciousness/unconsciousness that humans have.  I easily tap into it late at night which is sometimes where when I did homework, it was most effective.  Yet the potential is in every person to access this database, but some are more easily able to tune into it.  I am a big believer in that we are all one and inter-connected, I am connected to people I have not met yet, or may not me, the actions I choose today affect them too.  If I decide to slip a sugar into a diabetics coffee, that could affect countless people lives, thus I am connected by a choice sense of creating fate.  Though I believe in metaphysical connections where you can know when something is going on with another.  I have a good example of this within my own a life, a personal semantic.  My cousin had a heart problem that he was born with, I can’t remember what, but there was a surgery to fix this.  Well while they were doing this my cousin went into cardiac arrest and almost died, but my grandmother just knew this.  She was insisting to my mother that something was wrong with my cousin and you couldn’t tell her otherwise.  We couldn’t get in contact with my Aunt & Uncle till later that day.  I have this connection with friends, I know what they are feeling without them telling me what is going on.  I can’t always guess the situation what is going on, but sometimes I do.  You could say I am very perceptive and I can be when I am physically with someone (but very dense at times too).  However, that is not the case when I am 1000 miles away and know that one of my friends is in trouble.  But I think these connections exist even with people do not know because of this collective that humans have.

The fickleness and human like qualities that God and Gods have.  I think of God beings are super human.  I do not know why but when I think of t hem, I think of them very unattached, almost a sense of apathy. I think of Gods as they should be better than a human being.  They should not be so fickle, so jealous, so full of hatred towards themselves and others.  Story after story I find of this, but then again I wonder, is this because we as humans lack understanding?  Look at one of the topics in Dark Discussion (Isolated Stunted Growth), where it was pointed out how I related humans to wolves, but wolves don’t use humans as a teaching tool for wolves.  Wolves do not teach other wolves the koans of humans.  We are relating to the Gods being like us possibly.  The one problem is trying to understand the arise of various Gods because you can’t trace back the memeplex completely to the beginning.  You can have a dozen variations of various stories of one God, due to rural differences and the fact that it was all oral traditions.  It still bothers me though because as Gods, should they not be more advanced, more intelligent than the normal human having access most likely to the collective unconsciousness and consciousness?  Should they not be more in touch with the universe?  But if we are all capable of that what separates us from the Gods?

So the third issue I have to bring up is what separates us from the so-called Gods?  This is where my little inner satanist comes out and proclaims we are all Gods.  We can manipulate our reality in some fashion with manipulating others, and our perception.  The answer has not come to me about what separates us from mythological Gods.  They are considered to have certain say, aspects, like Athena is often considered a goddess of wisdom (and war), because that is what she is good at.  Artemis was a goddess of the hunt and that is something she was good at.  She was associated with the moon and being a virgin.  The last two are more associations than anything, but don’t we say, oh your eyes are like the stars, and such?  We have this constant association complex where we relate anything and everything we can, even with Gods.

So where does myth (theory) end and the beginnings of faith and logic twist together?  My friend told me he believes in his personal gods because of experience.  I once talked to a Norse Pagan who says that there must be a trickster God or spirit watching over me (due to the odd tricks that happen in life).  I’ve been told I am guarded/watched over by powerful forces and they have a huge play in my life due to psychics and tarot card readers.  I once had a near death experience with a car accident I shouldn’t have a) walked out alive or b) let alone unhurt as I did.  Who is to deny that there isn’t a possibility?  Yet through all of this questioning, this pondering I have come to one conclusion that it is time to jump off that metaphorical cliff and step into living an acasual existence.  I have lacked a confidence to jump off to fully start experiencing it all, but even brief glimpses is not enough.  I need to start trusting my intuition more, having more confidence in it, letting the “heart” guide and not let all my head do the thinking.

So jump.

Belief in God(s) pt 2

This is part two.

In ancient times (as far as we know), there was no religion or real “science.”  Religion and spiritual paths began to form as people began to try and explain the natural world.  What is that loud noise as it rains?  Why does it rain?  That is why ancient religions based upon the area they live are a bit different.  Yes there are common parts, like goddess of hearth and love and god/desses of war and why there is gods of fate in many religions.  So when I start thinking of the Gods I ask myself this:

Are Gods real?
Is our encounters with “Gods” an encounter with a normal entity? Or a more spiritually advanced being?
Are all “Gods” one and the same? Just different “aspects?” Think of a crystal or a dice, there is many sides to it, so are there just many sides to it?
Did the belief in “Gods” actually create them? In reference I am saying, does such focus and energy on their existence made them come into life?  There was a study done that when people prayed for another whether they knew them or not, that person would get better faster.  So did that focus of energy and prayer make them come into being?
Or did they really exist since before human existence?
Are the “Gods” we know of just super-powered beings who serve a more powerful being?
Are “Gods” just psychological constructions and when we come into contact with them we come in contact with our “subconsciousness?”
I feel stupid but…Are they “aliens?” Or beings from an alternative universe?
Or what do we feel as “Gods” is the Universe as one “Entity” and we are just one small “cell” of it?

I have to many questions and thus I cannot really believe in Gods.